PUBLISHED A NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER YET?
This is a tongue-in-cheek letter to potential clients of my Great Spirit Publishing which produced this GOLDEN WORDS volume.
Although it is written in the spirit of fun, golden kernels of truth are contained herein, and every person contemplating publishing his or her own book, with visions of bestselling grandeur as the result, should contemplate the meaning of NABSY before paying for self-publication of a book that might not sell more than a few copies to family and friends.
~ Barbara Callahan Quin, Publisher
Dear Potential Writer/Poet Client:
Is your poetry chapbook or first novel manuscript gathering dust in the bottom of your filing cabinet? Is it:
- Pitiful first attempts at that GAN (Great American Novel)?
- Writing so bad that you have to use a pseudonym?
Every writer envisions his or her work reaching the masses, changing lives, and becoming future fodder of university literature courses. But not every writer’s attempts at writing – at least not at first – are worthy of such esteem, if you go solely on what an editor or submissions agent has to say.
Even with the projected decline of the printed book (because of the rise of electronic reading devices), book stores have racks full of books, a vast majority of which are touted as “New York Times Bestseller!”
How can a brand new book be on the bestseller list when it first hits the shelves? Is it possible to buy placement on such illustrious rolls?
For the thousands of books proudly displaying that privilege on their front covers, we say, “Congratulations on a job well done!” Apparently! For the millions of the rest of us whose works may not have a snowball’s chance of making such a list, there is now a new list:
N A B S Y
Here’s your chance to get your book printed, warts and all.
When you publish with NABSY (a new service of Great Spirit Publishing' GSP-Assist), you will not be guaranteed anything related to the sales potential of your book. What we can do, for the most part, is to assure you that your book will join a list of former rejects.
You can revel in your ignominy (being unknown), alongside other writers whose work, like yours, has been denied by the best.
While in pre-press production, your book will be handled with TLC, just as you think it should. Proofreading will correct minor flaws, but the true grit and grim effrontery of your words will remain. You can use run-on sentences, improper prepositions, confused conjunctions, and grievous grammar tense that will leave your readers’ heads spinning (assuming anyone actually reads your book).
Once your book is published and available on Amazon, encourage your readers to give it a single-star review, pointing out all the inconsistencies and completely unbelievable plots.
Do not be confused, however; not every book is worthy of NABSY status. We accept only those sincere first efforts or the work of a persistently bad writer with a Great Writer’s Heart.
NABSY authors can boast to their friends, “Yes, my book is Not A BestSeller, Yet, and it may never be, but I am published and have discouraged English teachers everywhere!”
If a NABSY does indeed become a true bestseller on anyone’s list, including the New York Times, then Kudos to the author, who has finally made all writers’ dreams come true!
N A B S Y
Writing so bad,
you can’t put it down
because it just might
put you to sleep.
NABSY – concept © 2013-2015 by Barbara Callahan Quin
(C) Copyright 2011 - 2015 Great Spirit Publishing and Barbara Callahan Quin - All Rights Reserved.